Suspension jokes
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.
I’m in catholic school.
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the kid.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???