Suck jokes

"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!

How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.

I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.

What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?

They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.

What did the naked man say to the naked woman?

"Suck my dick."

Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!

If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?

That number is how many dicks you suck.

A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."

My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.

My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."

The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.

I suck on cups so START RUNNIN' CUPHEAD!

Why do orphans suck at homework?

Because they don’t have a home.

Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.

This dick ain't gon to suck itself.

<😏__ \ 👇 \ _/ 🍆\_

You suck.

Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.

What happens when you suck?

You succ.

You're an apple. Now suck my dick!