Suck jokes
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
What do you call a dick?
Suck my dick!
One day Jack and Jill went up a hill. Jack got Jill drunk and horny, then took her to a hotel because Jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick.
If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?
Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
These Afghanistan people suck at Jenga.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
So, three guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank.
The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man.
The second one goes for his uncle's vault because screw that son of a b***h; he’s rich, why does he need all the money? But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephew's neck.
The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought, “Well, that b***h can suck my d**k; she’s so poor anyway, who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness?” So he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day, the third guy's ex showed up to his house and said, “I’m gonna f*****g murder you,” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house.
In hell, the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked, “You know, I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house, why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said, “B***h, I don’t know, maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already.”
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
Suck my balls!
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
Suck my butts, queer.
Orphans are humans like everyone else, so suck it up, rude jerks!
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.