Suck jokes
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
I sucked a dick.
You know Mark once said, "Go away, Freddy, or I'll suck your dick!"
Michael is gay and sucks cock.
There was a deaf man. He was deaf. Ha, sucks for him! (sans undertale)
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
So, three guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank.
The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man.
The second one goes for his uncle's vault because screw that son of a b***h; he’s rich, why does he need all the money? But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephew's neck.
The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought, “Well, that b***h can suck my d**k; she’s so poor anyway, who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness?” So he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day, the third guy's ex showed up to his house and said, “I’m gonna f*****g murder you,” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house.
In hell, the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked, “You know, I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house, why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said, “B***h, I don’t know, maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already.”
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
Why did the cheetah get sad?
'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.