Student jokes

How did the shark do on his math test?

Jawesome!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright!

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

When I walk to school, I fart.

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

What do you call a white kid at the back of class?

A school shooter.

Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?

Because he cheated on a test.

What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.

Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?

Because she had a make-up exam.

Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?

A: Lazy bones.

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

So he could get into high school.

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

Do you know what the hardest part of school is?