String

String jokes

Fire Truck

    • Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"

    So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."

    So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"

    The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.

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    • George Bush

    • I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.

    Bar

    • So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

    He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

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    • Violin

    • What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

    A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."

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    • Life

    • "Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

    I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

    Wife

    • What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

    "Wait, I can explain everything!"

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