Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today" and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron". Then the first atom said "How Ionic"
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
Why did the poop cross the street .why. Because it was trying to get in the toilet
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
-My brother
Why did the orphan cross the street because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side
So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
mrs.mallaras boobs where (69) pounds she said that was to to to much(69222) so she went to 51st street (6922251) to visit doctor x (6922251 x) and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8) she ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
a guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if its relephant. he says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
so a blind man got run over by a car......a parked car
why could't the toilet paper cross the street
because it got stuck in a crack
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch Me: Strange...Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
Your walking on the street when you realised that your in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
Two guys were walking down the street and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any Blond in the world into giving him a Blowjob, any Blond! So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said alright let's see it! The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, Hi my names Dave and my Doctor just told me that if I didn't get a Blowjob from a Blond within three hours that the disease I have will kill me in 'oh less see now 22 minutes! She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says pull it out! 10 minutes later the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out! So he walks over to her and says I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friends life?! So she looks up him just crying her eyes out even worse and says" I could have saved my dad!"
I got pranked so many times once I saw two wheels rolling down the street I hear this noise I look behind me there's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming "HELP I CANT GO ANYWERE'' but I walked away I knew it was a prank
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
So a girl says to her ex I can't get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we've the girl replies I see you in everything like when I'm walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
