Still jokes

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.

Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!

Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.

Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!

Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!

Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!

Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣

What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.

Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.

We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.

When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.

Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!

Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!

Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.

What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."

Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?

Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

More than five because my basement is still dark.

All these bows and arrows and I'd still give more of Jeremy Renner's work a shot.