Still jokes

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!

I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!

How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

More than 9 because my basement's still dark.

You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.

Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?

Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

Years later:

Dad still did not come back.

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.

He still is a kid.

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."