Still jokes
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."