Stephen jokes
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Who is Stephen Hawking?
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.