Stephen

Stephen jokes

Message

What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."

Movie

I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

Difference

There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.

Wine

Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.

God

Stephen Hawking said there is no God.

2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

Stephen Hawking

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”

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  • Water

    What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?

    If you throw water over them, they both die...

    Meeting

    Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?

    He couldn't get up the kerb.

    Log

    What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?

    "Log in."

    Religion

    Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?

    Computers don’t really have a specific religion.

    Stephen Hawking

    "Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

    Ramp

    Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

    Because there wasn’t a ramp.