Stephen jokes
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!