Stephen jokes
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.