Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking jokes

Stairway

When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.

He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"

Reboot

I heard Microsoft got charged, why?

They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.

Fat

What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?

As fat as Ben Dingley.

Hell

Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.

Stairway

How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?

He didn’t, there was no lift...!

Robot

You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!

Computer

"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."

Wife

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

Cyclist

I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"

Word

What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.