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Orphan

  • Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

    Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

    Timmy: *starts crying*

    Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

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  • Friend

  • My friend dreamed of being a porno star.

    He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.

    The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

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  • Karaoke

  • Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

    Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

    War

  • A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!"

    Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*"

    Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"

    *Insert me starting a war in the comments*

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  • Hooker

  • This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

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  • Funeral

  • My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

    Home

  • In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.

    Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.

    Job

  • I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

    Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

    Wife

  • Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

    I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

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