how do you start a dance party? go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold
Patient: I'm starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage"
If you guessed "Marriage" your stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never get's old to him. Just like the baby.
I asked an orphan where his mom was he started crying so I said it again And well that was my last day at the orphanage
Why did the orphan start crying
Because his apple found a home in his stomach
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig
The quiet kid starts playing Pumped Up Kicks in the parking lot before school.
if Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and i had 10 to start what do I have?
Answer -a math problem insta =carlosalvarezz
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,"Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders"
HOW DID A MAN KNOW HIS WIFE DIED DISHIS START PILIENG UP
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof!
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
i walk up to a kid i ask where his parents are and he started crying then i walked out of the orphanage
What time is it when you say what? Time to start over
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl? Because it was a Rogue One!
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? A good start :)
