Star jokes
Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"
Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Which fish is the most famous?
The star fish!
Sun.
Mÿ pp.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet! 🤣🤣🤣
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."
Suck my dick!
(Ron Jeremy)
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.