Spot jokes
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
Where do orphans shop?
Home Bargains.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Where do orphans get stuff from?
The reject shop.
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."