Sport jokes
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
I suck at baseball. I can’t find home plate. Oh wait...
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t run to home.
Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why can't an orphan play baseball in China?
They can't find home plate.
So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t go home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make it to home plate.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why can orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home plate.
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.