Spit Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

There were three babies in a moms stomach. One baby asks, “what do you want to be when you grow up” The other baby answers, “a doctor I want to help people, what about you” “I want to be an engineer, I want to make things, what about you” he asks to the third baby. “I want to be a hunter”. “Why” the other babies ask. “I want to kill the snake that spits on my face”

I was out ice fishing, and had no nibbles all morning. About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg." I said "Excuse,me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said." Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

pov them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed.

her. all you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang you get me

diddy and hawk tuah walk into a bar hawk tuah say spit on that thang only one walk out💀

This morning I was in the kitchen and I saw some a whole bunch of leftovers brownies made from scratch i just taste one and spit it out because somebody put some godamn weed in them what the fuck.

Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?

Because he wanted to spit BARS on time

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How do rappers stay warm in the winter?

They spit HOT FIRE

What’s the difference between a pig & Maddie McCain? Least pig had apple in its mouth when was spit roasted.

what do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common. spit, spit, spit

Why was the rapper always cold?

Because he kept SPITTING ICE

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump. She really hates it when I spit my food back out. Stephen Hawking

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why did the rapper apologize to the sidewalk?

He didn’t mean to SPIT that hard

When I trying to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin. Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you.