The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
Speech Jokes
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!
Say "urine egger" five times fast.
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
A speech impediment.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
Fuk yall!
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?
Nothing, they both spout shit.
There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.
I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To leave everyone SPEECHLESS!
