Space jokes

What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?

The Captain's Log.

What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

What do you call a black man on the moon?

An astronaut.

Me: Name all the planets.

Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.

Me: Not my anus!

I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.

Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!

Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.

Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."

The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.

The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.

The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."

Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."

What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.

I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

August 3rd is the moon of earth, earth, moon, earth, universe.

Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂

What is money called on the moon?

Mooney.

I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.