SOS Jokes

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar- just kidding.

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.

I know why asain's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly

So 6 is scared of 7 because 7,8,9, but why did 10 have PTSD?

He was stuck in the middle of 9/11

everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers

feminist: correct

everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY

Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.

I did so much research that I got BONE-tired from doing this TIBIA honest. You probably didn’t find that HUMERUS. I got a SKELETON of these puns. I guess i could learn a FEMUR puns. I was wondering if the the creators of this site could TALUS how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years-old.

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

I am so nervous.

why did helen keller wear skin tight pants?

so you could read her lips

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Today, I operated on a little girl, she needed O- negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O- negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “so when will I die”? she thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.