SOS jokes

Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

Yo mama so ugly!

The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!

Your hairline is so pushed back, it's looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

My wife cheated on me with my brother.

She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.

Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.

Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......

Yo mama is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.

Me: I look up to you.

Friend: Wow, thanks!

Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...

She couldn't do either!

Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.

This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.