SOS jokes

Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.

Yo mama is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

My mom said don't fuck whores.

So I kicked my step sis out the house.

Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.

My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.

Yo mama so fat, One Punch Man had to punch 3 times.

Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."

Yo mama so ugly!

The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...

She couldn't do either!

I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣

Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.

This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.