SOS jokes

A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!

Yo mama so stupid, she went to the Super Bowl with a spoon!

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.

So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.

My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.

Why was your mom so into me?

'Cause she was the man.

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

How names were named.

"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."

"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he had great FLOW-CULUS skills!

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!

Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a giant spoon to the Super Bowl.

You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.

Yo mama is so fat that her belt size is the equator.