SOS jokes

Bleach solves so many problems:

Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the stonks are high, and so are you.

My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "Lydia"?

Yo mama so fat, her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count.

Who thinks people should stop doing orphan jokes? Type here so we can talk about it.

You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.

Hey, I broke up with your girl.

-Me: What? Why?

Wait, what?

-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.

Yo momma so fat, I took a picture of her 1 year ago, and it's still printing.

Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.

Yo mama so fat, her swimming is Sea World.

Friend, you so faaaat.

Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.

It wasn't that funny.

So I just Snickered.

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.

Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"