SOS jokes
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Memes
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
Yo mama so fat.
She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.
So it can cut itself.
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.