SOS jokes

Your momma is so fat that when she egged the Twin Towers, she threw a airplane on accident.

The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.

I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he could always count his bars.

What did the grape say to the rapper?

"You're so VINE, you must be on the JUICE!"

Why did the rapper always carry a map?

So he could navigate his way through the rap game.

Kris is so dumb that his smartwatch went to NIGHT SCHOOL.

My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Why was the rapper always in shape?

Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*

Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?