SOS jokes

A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.

The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."

So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"

Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

God says, "You are what you are."

Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.

Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.

Why do orphans like robbing banks?

So they can be wanted.

You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.

Roses are red,

Potatoes are brown,

Your mom's so hot,

I put her down.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he could call someone Father.

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.

Your hairline's so far back, even Andrew Tate rejected it.

Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."

Yo momma's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a grocery list in her hand.