SOS Jokes

The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭

Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.

I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"

Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!

Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.

Yo mama so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they gave her the ocean.

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.

Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.

Jo Mama is so dumb, she tried to eat the Super Bowl.