So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
SOS Jokes
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.
Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?
So they can reunite with their dead family.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?
They are skilled at separating colors.
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
