SOS jokes

Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.

"Sticks and stones break my bones."

A crowbar does it so much quicker.

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.

Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Why do orphans play GTA so much?

Because they can be wanted for once.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

I wish my nails were emo so that they would cut themselves.

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.