SOS jokes

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

Roses are red,

Potatoes are brown,

Your mom's so hot,

I put her down.

(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”

And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”

"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.

The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"

The old man replied, "You're the eighth."

Why am I so successful?

When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?

People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

Yo mama so fat when she went to the movie theater, she sits next to everyone.

Why was the Orphan boy gay?

So he can call someone Daddy.

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

They never get love.

So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."

Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."

Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!

Yo mama is so fat, she jumped into the air and got stuck!

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?