There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.
Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!
