SOS Jokes

So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.

Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.

Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.

Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

A black and white image shows a large T-Rex holding a machine gun standing next to a Jeep-like vehicle and some soldiers. The text says, "Historical footage of the last T-Rex serving his country in WWI". Another text below states, "But isn't that a Jeep? And the T-Rex is holding a Browning M2? Which wasn't used until 1933... So I think this footage is actually of WW2".

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?

Because no one misses them.

You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣

Emos are dark people....

...So why are they all white?

Goths are even darker...

SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?

So, I met a boy, and he said he would be happy to be a cannibal because if we all were, we could stop overpopulation and world hunger. And I was like 😍😍😍😍🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯