SOS jokes

Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.

I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.

Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?

So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.

Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.

Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.

Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?

Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?

Because no one misses them.

You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣

Emos are dark people....

...So why are they all white?

Goths are even darker...

SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?

So, I met a boy, and he said he would be happy to be a cannibal because if we all were, we could stop overpopulation and world hunger. And I was like 😍😍😍😍🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯