Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
SOS Jokes
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole
My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they can call someone father!
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”
St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
