SOS jokes

Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?

Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Why were the 1800s so crazy?

Because of Hairriet Tubman.

I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.

Why does a woodpecker have a beak?

So as to not smash his head against the tree.

Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?

Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!

My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Why is the graveyard so noisy?

Because of all the coffin : )

Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.