SOS jokes

So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."

Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.

"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"

"It was only the Bass!"

Why were the 1800s so crazy?

Because of Hairriet Tubman.

I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?

Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!

My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they can call someone father!

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

They never get love.

You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

Why is a ghost so predictable?

Because you can see right through it.

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.