SOS jokes

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.

So I told him he was on my cock.

(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.

Animals are just... so hot!

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"

The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.

"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.