Son jokes
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
Def all moms lol
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
omg im sobbing so hard, saddest yt comment ever bro, challenge, find a sadder one
Not now..
Relatable
Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost
Community talk
Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh Otro sunset bonito que veo en San Juan Disfrutando de toda' esas cosas que extrañan los que se van Disfrutando de noches de esas que ya no se dan Que ya no se dan Pero queriendo volver a la última vez que a los ojos te miré Y contarte las cosas que no te conté (te pareces a mi crush, ja, ja) Y tirarte las fotos que no te tiré Acho, jurado te ves bien linda, déjame tirarte una foto Ey, tengo… Read more
i’m gonna drop out of high school and become a stay at home son
Scripts.com Bee Movie By Jerry Seinfeld
NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yell… Read more