Bunger got me like:
😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
The daughter walks up to her father and he asks him “Dad can I ask you something?” The father says “Of course, what’s your question?” The daughter replies and asks “How do you feel about abortion?” The father says “Why don’t you ask your sister?” The daughter replies “I don’t have a sis-“
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
Hi guys, I just found this website. I got emailed by joshisboss or something. Have a great day! 👍
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
