Someone jokes
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
Saturn was so loved, someone put a ring on him.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
Why was the Orphan boy gay?
So he can call someone Daddy.