Someone jokes
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Why do orphans love to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.
I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
I had the BEST day EVER.
1: I woke up.
2: I met someone I'm sad about.
3: I had fun and got them back again online.
But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.