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Depression

Doge

When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.

Puns

Anonymous

If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know

Point

John Doe

What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.

Depression

Anonymous

Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I’ll ever have.

Wife

aye

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

Building

La oempf

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

Orphan

FATHER

Why do orphans go to church? So they have someone to call father

Puns

Sans the skeleton

What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at you’re pun?

Looks like someones funny bone is broken😁

Orphanage

J0K3ST3R

If someone calls you, reply with this “Hi this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?

Orphan

LIL JIMBO

If you are going to make fun of someone make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy. Dark humor is like a kid with cancer it never gets old.

Daughter

Biggie

Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”

Face

What's My Name?

Richard: Mom, someone called me gay. Richard’s mom: Why didn’t you slap him across him face. Richard: No, I couldn’t. Richard’s mom: Why. Richard: Because he was cute.

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Puns

Anonymous

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

Depression

Morgan

When someone tells me to kill myself

Panic! At The Disco: Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time

Cannibal

TheRiotHouse

Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.

Orphan

Anonymous

why do orphans go to church

so they have someone to call father

Man

A woah man

Someone asked me my gender… I said woah man

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler

Wife

Dev

so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

Pool

Kim Jong Un

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

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