Someone Jokes

If you are going to make fun of someone make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy. Dark humor is like a kid with cancer it never gets old.

A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked his what he was suppose to be. He answered," A turtle." 'Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again. The boy answered, " it's Michelle."

What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at you're pun?

Looks like someones funny bone is broken😁

Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids

When someone tells me to kill myself

Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

Why dis the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call a father.

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low and the cliff was non existent and now you took the poison !"

guys don’t let nobody hurt you with words like someone once said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE it's fine for someone to say boys against girls but the moment I say blacks against whites I'm the bad guy

Kid: Mum how do you know someone is drunk? Mum: See the four birds over there Kid: huh, wait a minute. Mum: A drunk person would see eight. Kid: Mum but there is only two.

Do you know what you first feel when you shot someone?

The recoil.

Someone who was working in the tower must’ve put their phone on plane mode

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)

What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler

If u want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents. Double! Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere! Triple! Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasnt wearing his seatbelt.