Someone jokes
Why do orphans go to church?
So they can call someone father!
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?
The Doughker.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he could call someone Father.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Like if you think someone is gay.
It would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."