What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
I really need jokes for my Atom bookmark project :3
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
Stephen Hawking tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
Fucking Windows updates!
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
He's not really dead, his update failed.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
