Society jokes
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?
Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
I made a website for orphans, but it didn't have a home page.
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.