Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
What do you call a white girl at Starbucks?
At home.
Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.
The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
When the school lets you near children again...
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
