I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
Asshole.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
