I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!
Society Jokes
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.
Orphans must hate 2020 because you need a home to homeschool.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
