What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
What do orphans call family pictures?
A selfie.
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
Qwen is a liar (sent with a dance).
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.
Student: Stands up.
Teacher: Why did you stand up?
Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.
