My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
Slowing Jokes
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs đ¤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Q: Whatâs a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Knock knock.
Whoâs there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! đ đ
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
