stop hating on pedos at least the drive slow in school zones
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A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
One day when I driving around our children's school with my wife she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did we hear a loud, long scream.
my aunt used to say "slow and steady wins the race". she died in a fire.
i went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
the way u talk is so slow that the put u in the movie fast and furious and changed the title to slow and serious!!!😂😂😭
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Comebacks when someone say Bully: Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic. Say: At least its brighter than your future
Credit x/@jesopa
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow moving business.
My friend: you ever feel like life is pointless *drives faster* Me: yea- My friend: if you could die with one person who would it be? *speeds up more* Me: H-hey you should slow down! slow down slow down! were about to-
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant. So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant
my grandma always said, slow and steady wins the race. she died in a fire.
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My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother. My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
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