I did a walk today, but it was good for Tyler. I was just trying to have a good time to sleep good. I got yyy night and a night.
I love going to sleep at night.
I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Good night.
What time is it when you say wake up? It is morning
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What do you call a school bus that you can not drive? A friend
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
My grandmother said goodnight...
She never said good morning.
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
