Sky jokes

The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?

Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.

Blue sky at night, day.

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.

What kind of animal falls from the sky?

Answer: A raindeer.

Bf: What do you think about our love?

Gf: Count the stars in the sky.

Bf: Aww, it's infinity.

Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.

Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!

I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"

Knock, knock.

Moon, give me cheese.

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

What do you call a bird with no wings?

Answer: A FLAP.

What is green and blue?

Grass and the sky.

I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?

A cloud.

Friend: What fly's and cry's?

You: A cloud.

What did the helicopter say?

Helicopter: "Kobe!"

Why did the plane crash?

Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.

The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.

So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.