Skin Jokes

If your butt hurts real bad put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.

Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?

Acne comes on your face when your 13

Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park on his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.

Papyrus:You are so lazy sans! Sans:Call me what you want.I got THICK SKIN! Pap:Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!! Frisk:HAHAHA Pap:we are monsters.The awfulest kind! Sans:to mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!

ok this isnt a joke but its funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, its not what you think, its a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Whats that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women

You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

Sans: why couldn't the skeleton go to prom Papyrus: Why. AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!! Sans: Sorry didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term,"red skin appreciation".

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor

Michael Jackson: Help doctor I've been shot. Doctor: I cant fix that but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again

Why did the person peel his skin off because he wanted too

I maybe not that gppd with puns on this site but I got a SKELE-TON of jokes. Hey what's the matter pal, is there something crawling UNDER your skin

a skeleton walk into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me and if you try to insult me i have thick skin.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, "for the France!" And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, "long live the queen!" And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said "MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS"

Here are some skeleton jokes You know the average person tries to hard and works himself to the bone If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone i can give you a real humerous joke I used to play the trumpet now i play the xylo-bone im always happy nothing gets under my skin I made you some turkey for lunch Bone appetit Im glad i had you im no longer bonely Ive got a skele-ton of more jokes but i'm just giving you one more Did you hear about the skeleton ninja he was very skullful (skillful)