Skin jokes
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
What did the funny bone say to the skin?
"You're not humerus, I am!"
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
Bro got that light skin stare 🥴
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".